Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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