I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
