be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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