I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
