I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
they need to just BURY HIM!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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