You just made me feel so damn special
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
