if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he fucked my hip out of place.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
