Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
