Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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