you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
