how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
