I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
