After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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