I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
