Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
NoShamevember. You game?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
