my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
