Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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