ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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