I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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