Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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