Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
