your parents love me but you hate me
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You can't motorboat a personality
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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