It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize