Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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