My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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