it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
