i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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