You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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