so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
