Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
