man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He shit in the fireplace
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
