We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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