Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
