when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
