After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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