And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
two words: eviction party
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
