i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize