You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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