I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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