just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
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He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
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Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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