theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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