I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
