This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just found puke in my bra..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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