I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
