We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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