I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
