Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Houston, we have a blender
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
