Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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