my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
