but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
