I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
