my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize