this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
