brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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