In the future we'll all be gay
Do you still have your period?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
