Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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