absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
True strength comes from lack of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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