brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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