the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
