Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
