I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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