I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
