Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
