I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
