I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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