did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
