singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
