I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
