Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she looked like the before picture.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
